I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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