some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
