thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize