At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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