Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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