Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
