I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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