Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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