would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
