he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
