so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
