it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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