Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
