I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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