so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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