But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
