I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
