My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Shame is for Republicans.
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