she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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