you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
