Already got asked if we're dating
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
