thus making me awesome and them whores
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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