So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
