I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
