I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize