from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I CAN MOONWALK!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
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Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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