We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
