I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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