either way he was missing a nipple.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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