Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
FUCK WHALES
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
