2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
