We're facebook friends in real life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
