yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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