Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
