That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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