I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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