He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I love you. Go after that dick
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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