Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
