david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
