McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
