Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
