i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
