I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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