Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
