Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
