so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
