He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
