There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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