Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The maid of honor just puked.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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