Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
