did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
