Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
