It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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