Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
