i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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