Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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