mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
