i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
