You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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