I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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